I have had many experiences with unrequited love. I have had a crushes on girls I knew were in good relationships, bad relationships. I have been on dates with girls I didn't know had boyfriends. I have been the one who loved less and stopped relationships to not hurt a person any further or to prevent someone from future pain. This song could therefore be seen of a collection of how I have tried to make someone happy by giving something up i.e. my oxytocin. Oxytocin is know as the love hormone. Many times I've often set aside my feelings and even kept them hidden not to make a situation more difficult than it already was. It's not an easy thing to not act on your feelings but sometimes you have to listen to your voice of reason instead. Often it's a constant battle between ratio and emotion.
(Picture of Puerto Lopez through sunglasses, 2017)
I think Jeff Buckley summed my sentiment up well in one phrase: "Sometimes a man gets carried away when he feels like he should be having his fun." It is a sentiment and impulse I have fought so many times. Especially in cases where the one you want is in a relationship you can be overwhelmed by a feeling of shame. You want someone who already is committed to something, who already loves someone. Because of that you feel like a thief, a fiend and a threat, an intruder. You feel like the bad guy. In truth it is perfectly possible for you to fall in love with anyone. In the case of Melinda I literally knew she also wanted to be with me. Some people even said that there is no wrong in trying to give her a push in the right direction and try to persuade her to choose me instead of her relationship but I cannot bring myself to do such a thing. Even when by chance someone decides to leave their current relationship to start a new one with you, what guarantee do you have that kind of thing won't happen to you? Another thing is the interval between relationships, which in this case would be virtually zero. I think after a break up a person almost always needs to re-evaluate themselves and spend some time alone to mourn the previous loss of affection. I believe that a good start, a strong foundation is something you can definitely build a long lasting and happy relationship on. I suppose that's why so many people also worry about first impressions. I am a romantic soul and I do believe in a strong first chemistry, a fire, an explosion. Someone you see for the first time and talk to that lifts you off the ground. Experience has taught me that such feelings of puppy love do go away. But in my opinion you kind of need a strong first connection and playfulness to move on to more serious parts of the relationship.
(Picture of a lake in The Amazon Rainforest, Ecuador 2017)
In the end I think it's sometimes wiser not to act on your feelings and to let the person you love go. 'Isn't it just giving love?' is the last part of the song which summarizes how you can put things in perspective. You're letting the person you adore live the life they are happy with and you get to leave things knowing that they had the freedom to choose. You might end up alone again but your consciousness is full. You can move on knowing you did the right thing, not only for them, but most importantly for yourself. You avoid confusion and pain and once again you can focus on building up your personal reserves of oxytocin to give to yourself and maybe, one day, to someone else.
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