Last year I went to MuDa and studied Music Production. The entree exam for the royal conservatory in Ghent was coming up the end of May and I had been working a few months on my recordings. I had put many sleepless nights into mixing and recording three songs to include in my portfolio. The day of the results everyone in my class got the good news that they were selected for the second round. Everyone except me. I got the news a day later that I hadn't been selected. My tracks were not original, too soft and missed edge. I was absolutely devastated. A few days prior I had noticed a girl smiling at me on the campus and I think I knew who she was. Melinda (a name I'll give her now, based on Opeth's 'Face of Melinda) was also a student who finished high school and did a seventh year like me. She studied dance. I knew she had a boyfriend, but I just wanted to talk. Apparently she got the news that she had failed her entree exam in Antwerp the same the day as I did. In shared misery we drank something in Bar Lume and talked about our lives, our goals and many more. I felt a great connection with Melinda. It's as if was talking with a female version of myself, someone who had the same way of thinking about things.
It was the end of July 2019. During 'De Gentse Feesten' I invited Melinda over to one of MakiMura's gigs on a Wednesday. She came together with her boyfriend and me, being in the post-gig hyperactivity, only struck up a small conversation with her and then quickly returned to breaking down the stage and returning my instruments to my appartement to vanish into the haze of the seemingly endless party nights. I did however invite her and her boyfriend to come folk dancing that same Friday. I had a short Scottish with her before, once again, trotting and swaying into the dark. The day after MakiMura had the last gig of the week in the Netherlands on Weitjerock. Melinda was sending some very flirtatious text and I was kind of suspicious about what all of that meant. That night we decided once again to drink something in Bar Lume where she confessed that she had feelings for me. Now I am not a guy to deny my own romantic sentiment about somebody, but I do always try to be the voice of reason inside love triangles. I distance myself or I try to convince girls that they need to think very clearly about their relationship and about the situation they find themselves in. Melinda's boyfriend told her she had to follow her heart, and in the end she did.
In August Melinda and I talked once more about what she felt, what her decision was going to be. We talked for a while in a dog park near my appartement and then headed into the city near The Gravensteen castle. We ordered some ice cream and when she picked vanilla I asked her why she chose the most standard choice to which she answered that you can tell when an ice cream parlor is really good going by the quality of their vanilla ice cream. We went to 'Lievenkaai' near the weeping willows where we sat and watched some tourist boats pass us by. The were some coots loudly calling which made us laugh really loud. We were both fighting our feelings, the furthers we went was simply holding each other. Even though I knew she wouldn't leave her relationship, this little place with her was a quiet moment of summer bliss which I will never forget. Walking back to the bus station we danced in the streets, not caring who saw us. I said goodbye to her.
During August I wrote down my feelings down everyday and wrote Hold You as an expression of my sadness. I bundled everything together and gave it to Melinda. The last time I saw her was in September of 2019 near the bottom of the stairs. The same place as before. And once again one specific place in Ghent had embodied all the emotions and hardships of one of my many experiences with unrequited love. Source pics:
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